Chestnut Honey

Madeira.

I’ve never written about this brief journey before, but now I find myself reflecting on how much this island gifted me in such a short time. Most importantly, it taught me the value of emotional control.

At the end of February 2019, something went wrong. A flood of new information overwhelmed me, and I couldn’t process it all at once. My habit of expecting only the best from people let me down yet again. I felt the need to shift my focus. So, I booked tickets for the nearest dates and went to Madeira to visit friends.

Each morning, I gazed at the sunrise over the sea, sipped tea with lemon and honey, and worked to gather my thoughts and emotions into the order I needed.

Walking along the black stones by the sea was incredibly clarifying for the mind. But emotions never pass without leaving a mark, and it was on revitalizing Madeira that I injured my knee—an injury that still makes me limp slightly to this day.

For the last three days of the trip, I had to travel around the island by car. Yet, because of this, I discovered fjords, lighthouses, wild cats, and felt a deeper connection to this place.

From Madeira, I carry the feeling of morning, yellow heather, mists, lighthouses nestled among houses, gardens with banana trees underfoot, and the quiet joy of silent companionship.

During this time of isolation, when it’s hard to predict what tomorrow will bring, I’m once again learning to seek out simple joys in every moment, monitoring my emotions and my reactions to incoming information. Now, more than ever, there’s an abundance of unnecessary and toxic noise, and it’s crucial to carefully choose what to listen to, what to believe in, and what to talk about. Most importantly, it’s essential to keep doing your work.

Crises always end and transform into something else. Once, a friend of mine who’s a psychologist gave me wonderful advice. I was distressed over something—I can’t even recall the exact problem now—but at the time, it felt insurmountable. The situation seemed to block me from achieving my plans.

Mariana placed two cups in front of me and explained that I was fixated on the first one, representing the current situation. To resolve it, she said, I needed to focus on the second cup. The second cup symbolized the destination, the point I wanted to reach, and that’s where my attention should be directed.

Now, let me tell you about a scene I observed during a morning tea in Funchal.

I began this piece about a year ago but set it aside when the tone of the painting shifted during the process, causing some nuances to be lost. At the time, it felt like the initial stage (начальная стадия) of the painting was closer to my memory, so I chose not to continue.

Recently, as I was flipping through a folder of unfinished works, I saw the morning light of Funchal again, framed by the veranda railing. I realized that the essence of the mood had been preserved, so I decided to complete the piece.

Here it is—Chestnut Honey.

Stay healthy.